My half-turn luge with right arm grip, double hip twist, and left leg evelation is actually one of the more advanced moves– has a starting value of 9 point 5. That’s huge. 
So the poll has closed for my Halloween Costume. It looks like 28.6 percent of yall want to see me in black spandex, making the sign of the Z. Awesome!
Today’s Top Five is in honor of all the Rome apples who sacrificed themselves to the wormans, sparing the others for my consumption, and for contributions to my apple cake.
I present to you, the Top Five reasons to pick apples.
5. The only thing better than a fresh bite of apple straight off the tree is a fresh bite of apple straight out of the picking bag. …and then sticking it back in and trying out another.
4. You get to watch how they make apple cider. And then you get to practice your ninja moves as you dodge the bees that watch the cider too.
3. You can skip your weightlifting for a day, if you, like me, decide to haul a bag of apples. Or, in Mommy and Daddy’s case, haul a kiddo holding a bag of apples.
2. Helping Mommy carry the big claw picker thing, pretending you’re on American Gladiators doing the joust. And then when you need a break, just go snack on the apple out of the top of your jousting pole.
1. Chances are you won’t ever see Faulkier County unless you pick apples. And everyone should totally see Faulkier County before they turn 2.
